An Old, Familiar Friend

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!”

When my incoming text messages sound like pinball machine bells, I don’t have to look to see who it is. 

I know it’s my college girlfriends.

For over two decades we’ve seen each other through break ups, marriage, babies, death, moves and new jobs. 

There’s nothing like seeing (someday) or talking to them and knowing that we can pick up wherever we left off no matter how much time has passed. I’m so grateful for my forever friends. 

This week, many of us are looking back at a year in isolation and can’t wait to see our friends again (hopefully) very soon. 

This made me think of how there's one familiar friend that I recommend you leave in your dark, Covid past. 

Your dieting bestie. 

I’ll admit this bestie is unique. She’s familiar (hard to remember your life without her), she’s fun for a while (hello weight loss in the beginning of all day cottage cheese and pepper bowls), you can pick up exactly where you left off (you know the drill, restrict at all costs and exercise to exhaustion), you know what it takes to maintain this friendship (hello disconnecting from your body by ignoring your hunger cues or trying to sit on your hands) and she pretends that she’s “good” for you (even “light” restriction is never good for your body). 

But your old, familiar dieting bestie is anything but a true friend. 

She’s much more like that bad boyfriend that you know you need to break up with yet keep going back to because this time will be ‘better’. Even though your real besties warn you not to do it, you go back thinking that this time you can change yourself so it works. This time will be different. This time you think you’re stronger and have more willpower. 

I’m here to remind you that no amount of willpower can save this so called friendship. 

Your diet bestie is deceptive, full of false promises, abusive, elusive (I’m really about wellness and the key to literally all of your problems and I’ll make sure you live forever!) and then blames you in the long run even though she knows she’s the one with impossible demands and expectations.

When you stop looking at dieting as an option, you make more time and space for your real friends and real connections. Don’t blame yourself for the time you wasted on this relationship. Recognize that you did the best with the information you had and now that you know better, you’ll do better. You’ll be able to say goodbye and leave your dieting bestie in the past. 

As we start thinking about saying goodbye to Covid, we remember that Covid has taught that connections to ourselves and others REALLY matter. Don’t be fooled. Diets do everything to disconnect us from ourselves and our loved ones. You’d likely never seek out a friend who didn’t love you for who you are or tried to make you change so they could like you more so don’t befriend that old diet buddy.

Screw the Q15 rhetoric and temptation to get back together with your old, familiar diet friend. Call your real bestie instead. 

Oh cripes, I gotta go, my girls are texting about the Midwest Siri translator.

After all, real friends know just what you need. 

xoxo,