"I look fat in that picture"

Sand squished through my toes and the sun warmed my body as my daughter, son and I watched a lizard slip through the boardwalk slats. The waves crashed ahead of us and the sun was dipping in the West while pink and blue were slowly seeping through the clouds.

Last week our family safely escaped for a week at the beach. There were a handful of other families where we stayed. One evening, a family with a mom and dad along with their two sons and a daughter (plus the daughter’s boyfriend) asked me to take a family photo.

“Of course! I know how hard it is to get a family picture on vacation!” I said thinking back to how many times I’ve spent surveying the crowd to see who might a) not run off with my phone and b) not crop off someone's head.

With our one year old on my hip and three year old by my feet, I snapped a few pictures of the crew. I handed the phone back and asked them to check and make sure they liked it.

The mom took one glance at the picture and shouted, “OMG, I look so fat!! We have to take another one!"

Whether it was the first time we’d venture far away from the house in a year, the island breeze or that I was annoyed my two youngest had heard this, I didn’t just sink inside and say nothing.

I said, “Hey mom, let’s teach our kids that fat isn’t a bad word."

Her daughter, who wasn’t rail thin, laughed uncomfortably.

I kept going with, “Let’s teach our kids that all bodies are good bodies!"

The mom pretended not to hear me and said she just needed to adjust her suit coverup. Still not catching my drift she exclaimed “you know how clothes can just make you look SOOOO fat?!”

At this point I was half considering tossing her phone so it would fall down those boardwalk slats with the lizards.

PSA to all the moms out there, THIS ISN’T THE MESSAGING WE WANT TO SEND OUR KIDS. Our kids are literally sponges absorbing our beliefs and attitudes. I couldn't help but wonder how her daughter and sons (and my kids) felt when they heard this. The message was clear that being fat is bad and unattractive and if I ever look this way, it's something I need to re-do or fix. This message is so pervasive in our culture yet it’s so untrue. Health nor happiness is not determined by our size. 

I’m not unrealistic here and know that just about every female raised in diet culture’s lens will sometimes look at a picture and check how their thighs or stomach look first. Trust me, I know. We all have bad body image days. Your challenge isn’t to never have a negative thought about yourself again when you look at a picture. Your challenge is to zoom out and look at the whole picture.

Where are you in this picture?

Who are you with?

What memory was captured in the photo?

What was everyone feeling- joy, happiness, excitement?

What did you have to overcome to get to this destination?

Was it a celebration? 

There’ll be a day where you may want to take another picture because you’re having a bad body image day and you’ll want to try a different angle, but I beg you to just say, “Oh, let’s take one more!” Nothing more needs to be said.

I walked away feeling glad I said something, but sad that kids everywhere are getting this message.

I challenge you this week to to be conscious of the way you talk to your kids (and yourself). Let them know that their value and worth is never tied to their size and to celebrate all bodies.

I don't know about you, but I’d rather spend more time hunting for lizards and watching sunsets and less time criticizing my stomach in photos.

xoxo, 



PS. If you want help seeing yourself differently in pictures and everywhere else in your life, hit reply to schedule a FREE consult or start Peace Out Diets online now.