Sometimes you get news that makes time stand still and feels like someone has pulled the rug out from underneath you.

This past week our family received terrible news that my 49 year old cousin passed away after battling cancer for four long years. Even though we knew she wouldn't be with us forever, we were shattered to learn she was gone. She was one of my first best friends and remained close to me for over four decades. 

We bonded throughout our childhood over dance recitals, fancy parties at the Italian Community Center, hair styles (so jealous my Aunt was a hair stylist and could cut her hair!) and countless bad 80's fashion mishaps. 

Hands down, what bonded us the most was food. Every Sunday night we'd meet at my Nana's house for her famous pasta, every holiday we shared meals together, every birthday we cut cake together while our Uncles cut the cheese and we worked our grandparent's food booth at Festa Italiana. We ate food together, made food together...

I used to torture my sister on a cold February day with candy that I had saved from Halloween. She tore through her candy, but not me. 

I saved and savored every piece and you can bet I saved the Snickers for last. 

Somewhere in those middle school years, I started avoiding candy, and started torturing myself around food. 

I started to fear holidays that had all the extras. 

Extra food, extra sweets, extra drinks, extra everything. 

Some of you might be dreading Halloween tomorrow with so many temptations and worries about being “bad”. 

I'm not worried anymore though, I'm excited. 

If you're still caught up in diet culture's way around sugar, you might be tempted to say to your kids:

“Keep that stuff away from me.”

“Tonight we’ll be bad, but tomorrow we’ll eat healthy.”

“We’re being so naughty.”

All of these thoughts come compliments of diet culture. Here's what you...

I grew up around constant Dad jokes. 

A really bad answering machine message: 
"You've reached our summer home, some are home, some are not!"

A groaner every time:
"It's time for a honeymoon salad, lettuce alone."

The money joke:
"What do you get when you have 100 cows and deer? 100 sows and bucks!"

Maybe you, too, suffered from this fairly common childhood condition. 

To this day, our house relies and survives on jokes and humor but we never, ever, rely on those jokes being about body size or food consumption. 

I was recently texting with a friend who is increasingly concerned about her daughter's preoccupation with food and body. After we talked, she said, "Well I guess that means I can't joke about being one flu away from my goal weight." 

She's right. Using jokes to poke fun at people who already feel an enormous amount of shame around their body size or to suggest that permanently changing body size is not only possible, but expected, isn't...

In light of the news this week, I'm keeping things brief. Sometimes distraction is good and necessary, sometimes distraction takes us too far away from reality.

What do you do from so far away to help those suffering the unthinkable? Maybe a simple truce with your own body is a good place to start. Food (and your body) doesn't need to be the enemy or weapon. 

The diet industry is really good at making your mind be the "bad guy". They want you to believe that getting control over your food and body is a mind game. If you could just master the ability to control your "overdesire" and "overhunger" for food, you'd stop overthinking your food. Sound familiar? 

Guess what? Desiring food is normal and so is your hunger. You can't think your way out of or over your body's natural desire to be at a certain set point. Your body will win EVERY. TIME. You can meditate until you're a shiny golden Buddha statue, but you still wont be able to "overcome" natural and normal hunger and...

A friend of mine just celebrated the Jewish holiday, Yom Kippur.  A lengthy fast (usually 24 hours) followed by a big meal. She commented that she loved the holiday, but hated all those foods that made her "puffy". 

Breaking news, the holidays are here, and you just might get a little puffy and it's no big deal. 

And, it's good to remind yourself that one meal or snack or holiday isn't going to drastically or permanently change your size. 

Eat the bagels, the candy, the pie, the casserole that Aunt Linda has made since you were seven years old and the cookies from your Grandma. There's a reason it's affectionately called comfort food. Having foods to feel good or give you a sense of nostalgia is completely normal. 

Your body is smart and knows that not every day is a holiday. It will tell you when you need a little more or a little less food. It's a remarkably fine tuned engine that doesn't need help from the loud voices of diet culture, your...

My daughter texted me from school with a desperate plea for help. 

She couldn't make up her mind about a school decision and was beside herself. 

"MOM. HELP. I NEED YOU TO JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO."

Except, I didn't swoop in and tell her what to do. She knew what she thought would be right for her and I wanted her to practice trusting her gut or hut (heart +gut). 

"You've got this. I will support you 100% either way," I replied.

I wasn't worried because she knows how to make decisions and it's not from a way you'd traditionally consider. Every day for 4-6 times a day she's choosing what she wants to eat. Even with having meals prepared for her at school and home, she's still choosing what and how much she wants on her plate. 

I don't hover over her asking her if she's sure she wants to eat something or suggest she might not really be hungry and just bored or tell her that a particular food choice is garbage. I don't want to erode her body's intuition when it...

We managed to escape Hurricane Lee's path on the East Coast this weekend, but I haven't been able to escape the proverbial hurricane called back to school. I'm up to my eyeballs in parent meetings, room mom meetings, TPA meetings, coffees and back to school nights. While I love being back in the swing of things, schools are often a place where diet culture lurks. 

Leaving one in person meeting this past week, I hopped on a zoom for my daughter's school. They happened to be soliciting help for their "snack shack" which is a little spot on campus where kids can buy all sorts of food after school. 

The presenter said, "Now we really need your help and know that you can just pretend that everything being sold to your kids isn't all garbage". Her comment was met with a round of laughter that sounded like it was piped in for a game show. Hello, diet culture. It's these subtle, yet not so subtle, comments that perpetuate anti-fat bias. 

The messaging that you...

Drumroll, please……

Today is my book birthday! Raising Anti-Diet Kids: A Parent’s Actionable Guide To Ditch Diets and Cultivate Body Respect is out in the world!!

Cue the confetti, streamers and dance music, but no gifts, please!***

Friends and Family who preordered their books sent me texts and photos with my book having a party in their very own homes! It’s wild this idea I had years ago actually turned into a real live book that people are reading. Like any author, I worry. Will people like it? Will it make a difference in their lives? Will only my mom and dad buy the book? I do know that I poured my heart and soul into this book and tried to make it a valuable tool that completely changes the way you think about food and your body not only for yourself, but for your whole family. I can't wait to hear what you think! 

If you still haven't bought the book, what are you waiting for?
For two lucky readers, the book...

Eighteen 6th graders filled our yard last week for a back-to-school hang out. It's definitely not called a "playdate" at this point because that would, low-key, not be cool. The kids would all dip if they found out it was still called a "playdate". 

It was the classic pre-teen awkward social interaction with boys on one side of the line and girls on the other side of the imaginary line. They came together for the pinnacle of the event. 

The Kona Ice Truck. 

I don't know what genius thought up this dream machine, but every year it makes our summer at 4th of July, long swim meets and pool parties. There's nothing like getting that cup of shaved ice in the shape of an ice cream cone and playing flavor maker with the bottomless syrup dispensers. Ice, ice, baby. 

The kids mingled and shared their concoctions and then it was promptly back to boys v girls. All we needed was a disco ball, streamers and an awkward eight minute slow dance song from Journey and I would've...

I didn't want to order my son the milkshake. It was 9am on a Tuesday morning and we had just arrived at The Nantucket Pharmacy Counter. 

He sat at the counter stool swiveling around and around looking at me through his straw-turned-telescope that he was hoping would be dunked into a milkshake. He remembered how good they were last year. 

"What about a croissant? Blueberry muffin? Bagel? Acai bowl? Eggs and toast?" I asked skimming through the menu. 

"No, no and have you lost your mind, Mom? I hate eggs. Remember??" he sighed. 

 "Ok, I don't even know if they make milkshakes this early in the day."

He looked at me with those sad puppy dog eyes, scowl on his face and arms crossed. 

The sweet woman behind the counter heard us talking and said she would make him a milkshake. 

His siblings kept reminding both of us that milkshakes are not a breakfast food. 

I ordered two of my sons a milkshake for breakfast. 

...