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The Clutches of Diet Culture

I don’t make time to do my hair. I should, but I don’t. I realized long ago that something's gotta give when trying to get six kids ready for school and my hair lost. 

I have all the things like a nice hair dryer and curling iron, but they just collect dust while I attempt a rather pathetic two minute post shower detangle spray and hair towel routine. To say I look forward to my haircuts is an understatement. Upon entry, the smell of fruity hibiscus hits my nose, I’m brought a cup of hot tea and then whisked off for a scalp massage. What makes every haircut special, though, is the conversations I have with my stylist. Over the years, I've had two, in particular, who consistently make my day. I’ll refer to them as daymakers. You know those people who leave you with a happy, perma-smile, kind of feeling. They're doing more than cutting hair and are rare gems worth treasuring. 

At my last haircut, my daymaker stylist and I, as usual, talked about the...

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In Deep Poop, GOOP.

Is it me or are celebrities going further off the deep end of reality?

If you haven’t already heard about, read or listened to Gwenyth Paltrow’s (aka GP) latest interview with Dr. Will Cole, you’re in for a doozy, because GP is officially out to lunch (well, not literally because she apparently doesn’t eat lunch or breakfast but I’ll get to that in a second). I refuse to post the link to her interview because it’s full of dangerous ideas.

The interview with Dr. Cole, a chiropractic doctor, opens with her being embarrassed that her IV drip was still connected. I’m sorry, but I thought IV’s were reserved for those who were sick and actually needed real medical care? Apparently, Gwenyth likes to mainline her vitamins because multivitamins are just so 1980’s. I can already smell the smoke from the flames that will go up about this interview, but I keep listening to the dumpster fire. 

Gwenyth moves on from the IV’s...

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You better work

allowance anti diet Mar 13, 2023

Growing up, I was expected to go to church. It wasn't a bad thing for me. I actually liked it. We'd pick up my Nana and I'd hold her hand in the car or stroke her fur coat in the winter. She always looked fancy and pulled together with her fresh nails, hair and make-up, gold jewelry and a matching knit suit. My extended family was there and afterwards we went to the grocery store for hot ham and rolls and donuts with Casey Kasem's top number one song revealed on the way. 

Times have changed...

Yesterday at 8:50am, a couple of my kids stared me down and told me they were only going to 9am church if we got donuts afterwards. They know they can have donuts without going to church, but whatever gets them out the door so we make it in time for the homily works for me. Get in the car, kids.

As our kids fast walked/ran for the donuts after mass, I walked in slowly talking with my friend. This was clearly enough time for her daughter to approach her mom and ask for a...

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BeautiFULLer

Surrounded by light up plastic snowflakes with the smell of popcorn lingering in the air, my kids and I sat in anticipation of the Disney on Ice (Frozen & Encanto) debut. Kids clad in Elsa, Anna and Mirabel costumes waved excitedly as Olaf took the ice. The Frozen story was underway when Elsa and Anna popped up on a side platform as they got ready for Elsa's coronation.  

“Anna, you look beautiful” Elsa proclaimed. 

A giddy Anna said, “You look beautifuller….I mean you don’t look FULLER…..you just look very beautiful”. 

An awkward moment of silence just long enough for kids to understand that looking FULLER is not a good thing cut right through the popcorn haze. 

Damn you, Disney on Ice. I’m disappointed to say the least, especially amidst the absolutely awful new AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) guidelines that recommend medication, weight loss through dieting and...

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Slippery Slope

I forgot how much I enjoy shushing down tree lined hills with fresh snow flakes sprinkling the air. A little bit of chatting on the chair lift, finding your own path down the mountain, gorgeous views and hours outside in nature. 

I also forgot how much I don’t enjoy skiing in pouring rain, chopping through sloshy snow and dodging sheets of ice along with out of control skiers. My wet noodle of a three year old also lacked in the desirability category despite her best efforts. 

I’ve seen bumper stickers in our area that read, “Ski The East”. The subtitle, IMHO, should be, “we brave every element”. It’s the equivalent to those 26.3 bumpers stickers. You ran a marathon? I did .1 more. You skied in Colorado? I skied in rain, sleet and snow. 

The biggest issue for me was the huge sheets of ice. Once you hit one, you’re better off riding it out than trying to turn or you’ll inevitability yard sale and pray that someone...

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For The Love of the Game

My sons and I stared at the scoreboard incredulously while my newly minted three year old pumped her fists in the air. The rest of us didn’t feel like dancing in the dark to the pop tunes blaring from the speakers anymore. None of us were feeling the neon strobe lights either.

Somehow this little girl had just smoked us all in bowling. And not just regular bowling, but Candlepin bumper bowling. There were no awkward, heavy balls or open gutters that we could point at for our loss. She even chose a practical twirling dress for the occasion and didn't even wear the official bowling shoes. 

It was here carefree attitude about the whole thing that was most annoying. 

The rest of us sweated it out and gave our best effort at the line every time. Swinging our arms straight forward and back, aiming for our ten pins, looking where we wanted the ball to go, doing the classic "move over" bowling arms to magically guide our ball, strategizing and...

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Act Like You’ve Been There Before

At 5:49pm my husband gave me the look. We both knew we had fifteen minutes before we needed to leave for his work party downtown and I was still getting kids settled/dawdling despite my parents being there to babysit. 

Two minutes to debate dresses, another few to make hair and face look like it wasn’t Tuesday at 9:30am and the last few to get a purse, shoes and some sort of jacket. No problem. Despite not having been out for a looooong time, I was heeding my own advice and acting like I’d been there before. You know, like going out was something I do on the reg and have a routine down pat to get out the door fast for all those cocktail parties and dinners I (don’t) regularly attend. 

One dress change and a several minutes later, I‘m downstairs trying to figure out some sort of sweater or scarf situation because it was freezing cold. My mom reminded me that I had to have a scarf or shawl somewhere. Right. Think, think, think. Yes, a basket in the...

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CoCo No

If you thought Barney or Blue’s Clues was enough to put you over the proverbial edge, you haven’t met JJ from the cartoon, CoComelon. 

At first blush, it’s a harmless show with cute little nursery rhymes and topics that are typical for the preschool set. Don’t be fooled though, the more you listen, the worse the voices get and the repetition leaves you ready to pull your TV off the wall. 

Nevertheless, the littles are hooked.

It’s no wonder why they’re entranced because there’s apparently a dopamine hit that occurs in kid’s brains as the scenes change every few seconds. You and I both know that highly overstimulating kids isn’t a good idea. 

Ringing in for mom of the year, I let my daughter watch said train wreck during emergencies. Read: airplane travel. As we watched JJ and his siblings start singing about exercise, my ears perked up. With a degree in exercise physiology and career in fitness, I was intrigued...

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Let Them Eat Chocolate

I'm a terrible flyer. I've mentioned that nerves plus motion sickness make me a real peach to sit near on an airplane. 

I was surprisingly good on my last flight, especially compared to the guy a couple rows back. 

He was traveling with his two daughters with no other adult in sight which could explain his loud-talking-borderline-yelling. The minute he took his seat he was pleading/informing his daughters they better behave themselves for the next two hours. 

Right before the flight attendants did their safety speech, our buddy yells out, "how did you get that chocolate in here? You have to eat some almonds before you can have any chocolate, ok?"

It was a you-better-listen-to-me-kind-of-ok. 

During the flight there was more loud talking about who knows what since I was rewinding Sing 2 for the fiftieth time while helping my daughter unwrap her seventh lollipop. 

I felt for this dad. He's doing what diet culture tells him to do which is...

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Top 10

Uncategorized Dec 19, 2022

I went to church almost every Sunday as a kid and couldn’t wait to get out of there. It wasn’t the hard pews or long, sometimes boring mass that got to me. I actually liked seeing my extended family, singing songs and having a quiet moment to reflect. I had to get out of there to get back to the car to hear the results of Rick Dees weekly top 40.

I would even wait in the car once we got home to hear if “Faith” (1988) or “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” (1989) would top the billboard charts. Why did he have to drag out those last top three for so long? 

Topping our little corner of the Mind Body Mondays charts for the year are below. Maybe you need to catch up or re-read to remind yourself that it’s ok to eat whatever you want this holiday season and know that your body has your back in terms of balancing out the inevitable extras you’ll consume.

I wish you a relaxing and joyful holiday season free of any food or body worries. Thank you...

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