When People Make Comments About Your Body

When people make comments about your body.

On a typical day, how many times do people make comments about your body? 

Pick a random day of the week. Listen to the convos surrounding you. See if you can count how many body-related comments you notice. 

People talking about your body. 

People talking about their bodies. 

People talking about how your body compares to theirs.

People whispering about other people’s bodies, too.

“You look amazing! Have you lost weight?”

“Ugh, you’re so skinny—meanwhile, I feel like a fat cow.”

“There’s only a couple of skinny bitches here.”

“I love that dress on you. Where did you get it? It’s really flattering.”

“I can’t believe you’re 40! You look great. What’s your skincare routine?”

{hushed tones} “Cynthia has gained so much weight this year. Wow. What happened?”

It can be pretty startling to realize how body-obsessed many people are, and how much of our daily chatter is focused on our bodies (and related topics: weight, skin, size, beauty, appearance, and of course, food). 

You might be surprised to notice how often you make comments about other people’s bodies, too. It’s a deeply ingrained habit that many of us have—often without even realizing it!

Try this: 

For one whole day...Challenge yourself to refrain from making body-related comments about yourself, or anyone else. 

Instead of saying to a friend, “You look gorgeous today!” say, “You seem so happy today!” Or, “I’m just so happy to see you!”

Instead of saying to your child, “Aww, aren’t you pretty in that dress!” say, “Are you excited about the science fair this week? Show me your project!”

Extra credit:

If you notice someone making body-related comments, steer the conversation in a new direction. 

If a friend says, “You look fantastic. What have you been doing? Spin class? Paleo?” You could reply, “Well, I listen to my body and I try to be gentle and loving with myself. No rigid plan. No dieting. Just love. But anyway, tell me about starting your design business! How’s that process going?”

If someone persists, draw a firm boundary. You can say, “You know what? I’m not comfortable discussing weight loss and dieting (or: It’s not okay to make comments about my body like that) and I’d love to choose a new topic now, okay?”

I want love to live in a world where we all spend less time discussing the size of our thighs—and more time discussing art, music, creativity, business, activism, parenting, kids, relationships, and all kinds of love.

Instead of, “You look amazing,” let’s all make the switch to something deeper:

“You are amazing.” 

xoxo,