Already Dreading this….

I think I’d rather stand in line all day at the DMV than get a colonoscopy. 

Apparently 45 is the new 50 in terms of the recommended age for getting a good luck up your buns, and my dad had a history of polyps so I’ve reluctantly scheduled this appointment thanks to my prodding sister.

The procedures book so far out that I don’t have to actually deal with decisions about prep and jugs and extra soft toilet paper for a few months, but I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t dreading the poopy prep, the day of main event and recovery. 

I’ve already been reading ahead to find out what the hell you can actually eat for the 3 whole days before the procedure. 

Spoiler alert, it’s not a lot. 

BUT, I’ve read that in the home stretch you can have Ginger Ale, clear Gatorade and yellow and white gummy bears and still keep the colon coast clear. You better believe I’ll be stocking up on those. 

I will not be using this as I’m only one stomach flu or colonoscopy away from hitting my goal weight opportunity! Nope. I’m restrictionphobic. 

Dieting, fasting in any form and restriction aren’t fun, leave you cranky and irritable and are totally unsustainable for any short or long term period. 

You do what you have to do to get the buns camera the picture it needs, but you do not pretend you have a monthly, weekly, quarterly or fortnightly (I’m not sure that’s a word) because it’s good cleansing, detoxifying or spirit clearing practice. IT’S NOT good practice for anything but feeling miserable.

If you have any poopy prep tips, please be so kind as to reply with all the (gross) details. 

If you know someone 45 or older, bug them to get an appointment in the books. According to the American Cancer Society, 12% of the people diagnosed with colorectal cancer in 2020 were people under 50. 

     Yours in cancer prevention, clear Gatorade and refrigerated sludge (apparently a straw helps?).