Are You Hungry, Cookie Monster?

Hey mama,

How's it going this week? 

Do you remember that commercial with the Oreos that showed how everyone had a different way of eating them? Oreos are a favorite at our house and each of our 5 (#6 doesn't eat food yet) kids eats them differently. One dunks in milk, one breaks them apart and just eats the creme, one likes to break it into small pieces, one twists and licks off the creme before eating the cookies and one just eats them straight up. It's safe to say we have a bunch of cookie monsters at our house!

Did you know that there's a game called "Are You Hungry, Cookie Monster?" Last week, I was helping our 5 year old with his classwork and was listening to his PE class. The kids were playing the game which is really just tag. The kids take three steps closer the person playing "Cookie Monster" after asking "Cookie Monster" the question, "Are You Hungry, "Cookie Monster?" "Cookie Monster "replies "no" along with a "healthy" food he/she ate. Eventually Cookie Monster is hungry and runs after the kids trying to tag them. 

The teacher let the kids all take turns pretending to be "Cookie Monster" and answering if they were hungry. These adorable kiddos shouted, "NO, I just ate a bowl of spinach, or 100 carrots, or an apple and green beans or orange juice or a big salad or a bowl of celery!

Yikes. I sat nearby cringing and hoping somebody would give a different answer than a stereotypical "healthy" food. 

One little voice shouts....a bowl of COOKIES!!! Me: Yesssss!!!!

The teacher quickly replies by saying, "Uh oh, I hope there was some zucchini in those cookies!" Me: Nooooooo!!!

This is exactly how fatphobia and weight stigma start. Teachers, doctors, friends and family think they are saying and doing the right thing about food, but their message is the exact opposite of the one we need to be sending our kids. 

The message we want our kids to hear is that food is just food. It's not good or bad, healthy or unhealthy. We don't want to elevate certain foods and demonize other foods. When kids get the message that what they're eating is good or bad, right or wrong, they may even internalize the message and think they're wrong because of what they ate. What if a family doesn't have enough money to have fresh fruits and vegetables on the table everyday? A child may wonder, does eating something labeled as "unhealthy" make me unhealthy and, therefor, bad? Kids worrying about what they eat can very easily become dieting which is the number one predictor of an eating disorder. 

One of the number one questions that supporters of intuitive eating get is whether an apple or hamburger (or donut/cupcake) is healthier? The answer is, it depends. When did I last eat? How hungry am I right now? Do I want something crunchy and sweet or meaty and hearty? Am I about to go for a walk and want something light? Am I craving a hamburger? Depending on all the answers to these questions determines if the apple or hamburger or donut or cupcake is "healthier".

For a healthy message to our kids, I reminded them that food is just food. There's no good or bad foods. Even donuts have carbs and fats which are needed by your body. If I send you with a lunch to school, you can eat the foods in whatever order you want and eat whatever amount you want.

I promise you, that given the choice to eat what you want, you won't always choose the "bad' foods. Our body naturally craves variety. If you're worried you can't "control" yourself, I guarantee you that you're restricting yourself in some way.

I wish I could control everything my kids hear around food, but my job and your job is to run interference on incorrect messages. We decided that a better way to play would be for "Cookie Monster" to just say, "not yet" over and over until the kids were all very close to "Cookie Monster" and then answer, "yes, I'm starving and I hope you have cookies in your pockets!"

Because everybody knows, me like cookies. 

Which reminds me, I need to buy more Oreos for this week.