Chubby Bunny

This weekend we celebrated Easter at our house.  Dying eggs, hiding eggs, making and enjoying a big meal, hunting for baskets and baking.  Having lived abroad once and in different states than our family for many years, this wasn't our first rodeo for a solo holiday.  Still, each time we celebrate alone, it feels a little empty without family and friends. 

To feel like we were with family, my girls and I baked some traditional Italian cookies that my grandma used to make (and my mom still makes). These cookies are melt in your mouth good and very festive (see here). Once the dough was made, I shaped them into fun Easter shapes like baskets, hearts and bunnies. 

The shapes were ready to go in the oven and as I was sliding the cookie sheet in, my daughter said "Oh, look at that fat bunny. Wait, that wasn't very nice, sorry little bunny!" 

Pause for dramatic affect.....(did she really just say that?)

Does she know I write about how being fat isn't a problem, it's just our society's reaction to and fear of fat that's the problem....EVERY WEEK? Does she know that we don't allow or talk about any sort of fat shaming in our house? 

It's easy to let these little comments slide at home, at school, with friends and with family.  Fatphobia is literally woven into our society.  From teachers, to doctors, to books, to magazines, to friends and well-meaning family members, we're literally swimming in a sea of diet culture. Even if our message is strong at home, our kids are being bombarded outside of our homes and through cartoons, movies and advertisements in our home.  

My message to my 10 year old was simple.  "Actually, there's nothing wrong with the word fat.  It's simply a way to describe a physical trait like hair color or height or eye color. Saying someone's fat isn't an insult. Other people in your life might think otherwise, but we know that all bodies are good bodies and being fat isn't a problem or an insult." 

My daughter's comment reminded me of how important it is for all of us to call out fat shaming comments and teach our kids the truth. Right now, you and I have a unique opportunity to de-brainwash our kids for the next weeks, or months and teach them a new message.  If you find yourself watching something on TV that isn't right, call it out in front of your kids. Reading a book that has a character trying to lose weight? Let your child know this approach doesn't work and is very often damaging to body and mind. 

The approach I always take is simple.  I provide the what, when and where for meals and snacks and our kids decide how much to eat. If one of our kids is feeling sad and wants to reach for some food, they can. Go ahead and eat and then let's talk about your feelings, too. I often ask our kids, did you get enough to eat and never make comments on how much they eat.  

I don't want any child in my family to feel like they have to hide their food to get their needs met. I also don't want them to ever hide their body because it doesn't match society's definition of health or success.

The only things I want hiding at our house are Easter eggs.