I just "feel fat" today.

Every morning during homeschool, our three year old likes to point at the cartoon face that best matches his mood. My $17 Amazon laminated poster purchase has been a fun way for us to talk about our feelings and how they change daily (or by the minute if we’re talking COVID parenting times). 

I checked the poster and “fat” wasn’t listed as a feeling...anxious, hopeful, sad, curious, even mischievous are all there, but no “fat” cartoon face. How many times have you said to yourself, “I just feel so fat today”? My guess is that during the pandemic, this “fat” feeling has come up more often and here’s why. 

Going through the pandemic has brought up a lot of intense emotions for many people. Fear, uncertainty and isolation to name a few. Instead of just sitting with and letting yourself experience these big feelings, which is uncomfortable for long periods of time, your brain tries to solve the discomfort problem with an action plan. You scan the room and pick your body as the problem to be solved (easy target since only you and your immediate family shared space this past year). Once you incorrectly find fault in your body, you subsequently use dieting as the coping mechanism to “solve” your problem.

Sure, initial dieting will give your brain that dopamine hit that your isolated and fearful mind crave. But, dieting isn’t a feasible, safe or effective coping strategy in the long run. Here’s an important reminder: your body is never the problem and dieting fails 95-98% of the time.

Instead of deciding to double down on food group elimination and counting every calorie when you hear yourself say “I feel fat”, dig deeper. “Fat” isn’t a feeling.

What else could you be feeling?

Are you feeling anxious about something? HINT: a lot of chronic dieters use dieting as a way to cope with their anxiety.

If your body wasn’t a problem to be solved, what would you be focusing on instead?

What face on the feeling poster really describes how you feel?

What needs do you have that aren’t being met? 

These are the real questions to answer. Not asking yourself, “which diet should I try this time?”. 

I recently heard writer Anne Lamot on a podcast and she reminded listeners of the two signs she has in her home:  

Loved and Chosen. 

As is. 

That’s all you need to remember. I’m loved and chosen….as is no matter what cartoon face I relate to in this moment. No matter what I’m feeling or what I truly need.

xoxo,