It's just food

It's just food.

Many times, clients have said to me…

“Andrea, last night I was feeling so bored and I did it AGAIN. I went into my kitchen and started snacking on all kinds of stuff even though I was still totally full from dinner. Ugggh. I’ve been so bad.”

… or something along those lines.

My client feels so disgusted with herself, so ashamed that she turned to food to cope with some uncomfortable emotions. She feels awful about it.

Here’s what I say in response…

OK, so you ate something. You ate something to soothe yourself, to release some stress, to cope with challenging emotions. You did that.

So what?

All things considered, is that really such a horrible crime?

I mean, consider all the things you COULD have done instead. If you feel anger, pain, anxiety, loneliness, heartache, sorrow, grief, loneliness, boredom, guilt, rage, envy, hopelessness, disappointment, etc., you could have…

* Injected heroin into your arm.

* Punched someone in the face.

* Spray-painted graffiti onto your ex’s house.

* Slashed your neighbors’ car tires.

* Posted a vicious comment on someone’s blog.

* Abused a child.

* Bullied someone.

* Murdered someone.

I am being really dramatic and extreme here, but… you get the idea. People do really violent, really harmful, really damaging things—driven by their emotions—all the time. All you did was eat some food. That’s it. Snacking on corn chips at midnight is in NO WAY comparable to committing an act of terrorism—and yet, women often punish themselves as if it IS!

Please try to remember this the next time you notice yourself feeling “bad” or “wrong” because of something you ate—or didn’t eat.

It’s just food. It’s not homicide. You ate something and that's ok, because it's just food.

You have nothing to feel bad about and nothing to apologize about.

Try, if you can, to revisit what happened with a neutral tone. In your mind, try to state the facts about what happened without attaching a huge amount of emotion to it.

Instead of saying to yourself: “I was lonely. I ate a whole jar of peanut butter because I am a monster. Uggggh. I’m the worst. I have no willpower. Whyyyyy???”

Try simply stating the facts: “I was lonely. I ate a whole jar of peanut butter. It temporarily helped me to feel soothed, but then later I didn’t feel very good and my stomach hurt. Tonight if I feel lonely, I might eat some peanut butter and I may try to comfort myself in a different way so my stomach doesn't hurt again.”

But even if you do end up eating a whole bunch of peanut butter again tonight—well, hey, here’s a gentle, loving reminder: it’s just peanut butter. You’re eating some food to soothe yourself. You’re not launching a nuclear missile with the intention of harming women and children. Remember that. Keep things in perspective and know that you are a wonderful person and you’re doing a great job at life.

PS. Here’s a song to remind that you are a seriously, truly wonderful human being… just as you are.

xoxo,