It's Hopeless

The sound of daytime tv along with the familiar pump of the sewing machine surrounded me and the other customers standing against the picture windows trying to dodge the Monday morning rain. I could feel my heart sink when my tailor looked at me and said, 

"It's hopeless".

Let me back up. 

I go to our beloved tailor almost weekly. They've fixed everything in our house from soccer and NFL jerseys to fancy graduation dresses. They must expect my weekly visit and wonder what goes on at our house to have so many items with holes, rips and tears. All I can say is it's messy living with six kids and two busy parents, ok? 

This particular week, I brought in my not very fancy, but went with everything blue JCrew linen shirt that I've had for years. I noticed a hole right next to the pocket and took it straight to my people because I was determined to save my shirt. It’s one of those feel at home pieces of your wardrobe that makes every outfit work even if you have applesauce stains and cheerio dust on your jeans/shorts/skirt. Except when I got to the tailor, I noticed a huge rip on the side that made the pocket hole look like a pinhole. Wait, what? How did that happen? See: six kids and two busy parents. 

As the tailor was assessing the shirt and we were discussing options, I was starting sensing it was game over. A part of me was still fighting because just in case they couldn't fix the hole, I had already scoured eBay and Poshmark to no avail. Ugh. My closet staple might be through. 

He was right, though, the shirt repair was hopeless. 

This got me thinking that sometimes being hopeless isn't a bad thing. 

There were too many years when I had hope that the next lifestyle change, healthy eating plan, three day detox, sugar elimination, mindful chewing, was going to be the answer to my best body/perfection/immortality. I kept hope alive for too long.

It wasn’t until I felt hopeless about all the diet plans and broken promises that diet culture feeds us on a platter of shame and guilt that I could actually and completely quit dieting. The human body is so smart and we can’t hack our way to permanent thinness without physical and mental harm. There was no hope that something else was out there that could fix me into a perfect human, and embodying that hopelessness around food and body was a good thing. My food and body were going to be what they were going to be. 

You can hear my mentor, Isabel Foxen Duke talk about the importance of hopelessness on theRebel Eaters podcast with Virgie Tovar. Both of these ladies are a must to know on your anti-diet journey. 

Where can you adopt a heavy dose of reality called hopelessness in your life this week? Sometimes letting go is the best thing you can do.