Not-So-Funny BFF1

“Mom, do you know what BFF stands for?”  my son questioned.

”Yeah, of course! It’s best friends forever” I replied in hopes that he might want to ask me to be his new bestie.

“It stands for big, fat friend” he said through giggle fits of laughter. 

”Wait, what?” I questioned. 

“It’s from the penguin movie!” he exclaimed. 

Right, ok. Time to run interference. 

Let me back up.

Nobody does slapstick comedy like Jim Carrey. His spastic style coupled with his stand up comedic roots make for some of the most hilarious movie scenes of our time. 

My son’s class watched Carrey star in the movie, Mr Popper’s Penguins before their class went to see the play*. 

In one scene, one of Carrey’s “kids” is talking about BFF’s and Carrey chimes in saying that it stands for big fat friend. Cue the 6 year old crew in hysterics. 

When I asked why this was so funny, my son just said because it was. This sounded my anti-fat warning bells and I sensed that it was more about the word “fat” carrying some weight to it- pun intended. 

We talked about how some people use the word fat as an insult, but we don’t believe that any particular size of a person is good or bad. Some people are short, some have blue eyes, some are big and some have really small feet. 

I want to teach my kids that body size, just like shoe size and hair color, is also a trait and one that shouldn’t be used against anyone. 

I secretly shed a tear of joy when the next day my youngest was telling her brother that people can be strong or short or silly. I think they’re getting it and I will keep reminding them until they believe that size doesn’t determine their worth, value or happiness nor is size entirely within their control. 

They’ve heard this message before, and they’ll hear it again until they’ve unlearned societies unrealistic standards to which all people, especially women, are held to. 

What can you do in your home to give your kids a different message?

Call out diet culture. Don’t laugh at the cheap fat jokes. They aren’t funny and they hurt us all in the end. Teach kids that size diversity is real and should be appreciated. Teach kids the word fat isn’t an insult unless we believe it to be a bad thing in the first place. Teach kids that people who are fat endure a lot of unjust pain and suffering simply because of their size. Teach kids to stand up for people being treated poorly. 

Don’t underestimate the difference you can make by having conversations with kids in your own home.  

*Note, 6 year olds did NOT enjoy the play since Jim Carrey and his jokes weren’t there.