"Oh, I can't eat that"

Awkward first conversations. Tricky seating. Sweaty bodies. Shouting kids. Sounds of clunky lunch trays and crinkly brown bags. The middle school lunch room wasn’t my favorite place. 

Covid has added even more parameters to the lunch scene for our daughter. Plastic dividers, limited kids per table (two kids who’ve been assigned to that particular table), and socially distanced lines in the cafeteria. Thankfully some of those rules have loosened and my daughter can sit (socially distanced) with friends. 

One day, three of her friends asked her what she was eating and they said, “oh, I’m not allowed to eat that”.  

The offender? 

An English muffin with butter. 

Apparently these friends have been told to eat bread dry or with peanut butter. 

I easily could've been these moms feeling like I was doing the noble and right thing for my child and their health by telling them butter was off limits. Packing a lunch with no butter or fat or desserts would’ve kept me in line for the illusive mom of the year award in my dieting days. 

The problem with this approach is that as soon as you or your child believe there’s a right way to behave around food, you’re bound to fail. You’re certain to feel anxious and not feel relaxed. You’re likely to feel like it’s another “thing” to add to your performative checklist. 

When my daughter packs her lunch, I don’t hover or fret. I simply remind her to pack a variety of foods. She knows to put in a mix of what she likes to eat- carbs, protein, fat and fiber. My only warning is to encourage her to make sure she has enough food. I encourage her to add foods in as it's a far better philosophy (and harm reduction strategy) than taking food out. An example of this would be adding in protein and fat to carbohydrates to make sure your kids have enough energy to get through their day and feel satiated. 

Where are you upholding rules around food for the sake of “health” without solid evidence to back up your claim? 

Where are you removing instead of finding out what else you can add in? 

The lunchroom is awkward enough. Let’s remove arbitrary food rules so our kids can relax and worry less. They have enough stress on their plate already. 

xoxo,