OOTD

At 7:01am, I picked up our telephone and dialed my best friend, Rachel. I couldn't call before 7am, because I might wake someone up and get in trouble with her step-mom. She wasn't a lady I wanted to mess with, so I waited an extra minute just to be safe. 

I could picture Rachel racing to pick up the hallway telephone before her brothers grabbed it. Luckily, the phone was just outside her bedroom so she had an advantage. I could picture her dragging the incredibly long cord all the way to the front of her closet to assess the situation. 

"What are you wearing today?" I'd ask. 

"Ummmm, I think my skirt and long sleeve shirt. Do you have something that matches?" she'd reply.

Once we had our outfits dialed in, we'd walk to meet at the corner and make our way to school. 

Wall phones, dialing, waiting for the clock to turn.....it all seems rather antiquated compared to today's scenario. 

My daughter wakes up and can check her "Snaps" to see if there's any OOTD (outfit of the day inspo) or FaceTime someone and actually see their face and their clothes and get ready together LIVE.

Mind Blown. 

I've seen some of these OOTD videos (vids, if you want to be a cool kid) and the infamous hauls clips that show teens with their birthday, shopping or holiday loot. You wanna know what everyone got for gifts? Check their hauls. You'll see it alllllll. 

These videos are cute and.....scary. 

The girls are showing their new clothes and shoes and bedroom accessories, but for the most part, it's beauty products galore. While they're showing their haul, some of these girls are commenting, 

"Ugh, what's with my hair today, it looks so bad".

"So I don't have any makeup on, so just ignore my face".

I was lucky if I had time to check my bathroom mirror, that wasn't even full length, before leaving the house. Rachel was my mirror and that was all the confirmation I needed. 

TIMES HAVE CHANGED. 

Watching these videos made me realize how HYPER aware the girls are these days. The spa treatments are starting younger, the fancy nails are happening sooner, the awareness of appearance and the importance our society places on it is real and palpable for these girls. 

What are you supposed to do? Stop gifting the face sheet masks? Join their spa party?

As a mom, you know your child best and can sense when their focus on appearance has become too intense. It's our job to remind our girls that their appearance doesn't define them or determine their worth. True self confidence is an inside job which starts with how you model yourself around your kids. Pay attention to what you pay attention to. Does your daughter fixate on her face or clothes or hair because you fixate on how you look? 

I PROMISE YOU THAT YOUR DAUGHTER SEES EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO. What kind of messaging do you want to send? Maybe a little less focus on the OOTD and a little more focus on how you can give her TLC in the form of your time, attention and energy that has nothing to do with what she (or you) looks like. 

I gotta go.....I have to go down the hall to hang up my phone now.