Should I not buy sugary foods for my kids?

Our kitchen table was full of our six kids plus two more of the kid's friends. A summer storm had turned the skies a dark gray with lightning flickering in the distance. We all sat cozy inside and, despite summer dinners being tough to get on the table, tonight we had even managed to cook some market fresh corn on the cob. 

As dinner came to a close, our kids started asking what was available to quench their sweet tooth.

"You guys have sugar in your house?" gasped one of our guests. 

The other guest chimed in with "we literally keep no sweets in the house and the closest thing we have to something sweet is powdered sugar. If we bought anything sweet, it would be gone in one hour". 

Both kids lamented about their moms being "bad" shoppers and always wished their dads would go to the store since they bought more of the "good" stuff. 

I was happy to give the kids Bark thins (thank you, Costco) and everyone left the table happy and satisfied. 

Of course, I started thinking about this conversation as the kids ran off to do their thing. What would it be like growing up in a home that didn't trust my choices around food or didn't provide me with opportunities so that I would know what kinds of foods I even liked? What would it be like to have parents model food group elimination?

When I was younger, I vividly remember my mom reading cereal boxes to make sure that sugar wasn't one of the first three ingredients. I thought kids with Trixx and Cocoa Puffs were so cool. It was always Cheerios and wheat flakes/squares at our house! I feel lucky that this was one of the only food rules that I can remember from my childhood. I remind myself that my mom, and you and your mom, were all trying to do their best based on what they were taught about food and sugar. 

It's nobody's fault that we’ve been ingrained with certain messages. 

Here are a few new “rules” to consider when it comes to buying sugar:

Yes, it’s ok for you to buy food with sugar and keep those items around the house.
Yes, it’s also ok for you to have some general rules around sugar. At our house, we eat those foods with a meal, usually dinner and sometimes lunch.
Yes, it’s ok to say that you can have one serving now and if you’re still hungry, eat more of your meal.
Yes, it’s ok to leave some for tomorrow.
Yes, it’s ok to let your kid’s own internal system guide them towards what they want.
No, sugar isn’t going to ruin your child’s brain, their overall health or their behavior. 
No it's not ok to shame kids for enjoying foods with sugar. 
No it's not ok to categorize food as good or bad. 

This week, let your kids come with you to the store (or let them add to a virtual cart) and pick out something that looks delicious to them.  Then allow them to enjoy it with you, at your table, with conversation. Let’s teach our kids that certain foods aren’t “bad” and that there’s no shame in enjoying something delicious.