Sometimes you have to stick your elbows out.

This year we went to see the Macy’s thanksgiving day parade in NYC. I know what you're thinking, taking 5 kids to NYC and the parade sounds crazy. I can't disagree with you.  Rest assured, I'm not completely crazy, because we wouldn’t tackle the parade without being able to watch it from inside with easy access to bathrooms.  5 kids. Crowds. Meltdowns. Cold weather. New Yorkers with pointy elbows. I mentioned the bathrooms. The end.

 

Luckily, my husband has an incredibly nice friend that got us an indoor viewing spot at his office party. I was feeling extremely grateful for his friend when we were weaving through thick crowds with our double jog buggy (plus 5 )towards our cozy birds-eye view.  

We arrived at said party at 8am (the time the doors open) and waited with excited anticipation. While the kids were entertained with plenty of food and activities, my main jobs were to find us a good spot and then hold that spot for the kids so they'd have  prime views of the balloons and floats. This was actually our 2nd year at this particular venue, so I knew where the good spots were from past experience. I also knew that New Yorkers can be, well, pushy.

 

When we find our spot in an office space, it's just our family and a young couple with their 1 year old.  Our kids played together and everyone was happy. If one of the kids had to go to the bathroom, the other parent would stand guard over our viewing space in case more people came into the room.   We weren't about to lose our prime real estate.  

 

As we got closer to the parade start of 9am, the room  that started with 10 was now getting very crowded. I peeled off my jacket and reminded the kids (who were getting squirrelly) to stay put to keep their spot. I started feeling a little claustrophobic closer to 9:15am when even more people came into our room. Couldn't people see that we're at capacity?  Couldn't they see that I'm pregnant?  Couldn't they see that we have our spots already?  I took some deep breaths. 

 

We finally glimpsed the big Macy’s star balloons rolling down 6th avenue which indicated the start of the parade.  Suddenly, a mom picked up her child and literally wedged him between 2 of our kids. The sweating, uncomfortable, pregnant me politely, but firmly turned to her and explained that we’ve been here for 90 minutes waiting and could she kindly move her child so our family has enough room. She looked at me appalled and said, “oh, I didn’t realize these were fixed spots”. To which I replied, "they are when you’ve been waiting here for 90 minutes"! 

 

Normally, I’m a pretty laid back person, but this was one time where I needed to throw my elbows out and guard my territory.  

 

This whole situation got me thinking about the work we've been doing together all year.  Where do you need to stake your claim and throw out your elbows?  Where do you not want to budge when someone else tries to tell you what to do about your food or your body?  Where do you want to spread yourself out and not apologize?  

 

This holiday season, I encourage you to show up for yourself and don’t let someone else try to take over your space that you've consciously set and prepared for yourself. Your space to eat what and when and how much you want. Your space to move your body how you want. Your space to be unapologetically you. 

 

Of course you'll encounter well meaning friends and family along with magazines and celebrities who will come into your space and tell you about the new plans they're following and want you to join them.  Just remember, that they're all part of our very fat phobic and food phobic culture and that whatever latest, greatest diet that you try is 95-99% likely to fail. You can politely, but firmly reply, no thank you, this is a fixed space.  I've been waiting here a while and I'm ready to enjoy the show.  The show that stars me able to leave free from diet culture's chains.  You might just want to throw your elbows out for good measure, too.