Sound Familiar?

A friend of mine just sent me this text:

"I was thinking about you this week. Do you still work as a nutritionist? I would like to lose xx pounds, but more importantly learn how to eat and how to maintain my weight!"  

After getting over my cringe-worthy reaction to my past work as a nutritionist who solely focused on weight loss, I shot back this reply:

"Hi! Actually, I work as a diet recovery and weight neutral coach helping women who DON'T want to diet anymore. Diets really only work for a tiny fraction of people and they can often make health worse in both the short and long term. LMK if you want more info!"

My friend, like so many other women I've talked with replied with this: 
"Yes! I want to change my way of eating and not diet anymore!" 

Here's where things are starting to sound familiar, aren't they?

I pipe back in with:
"I really don't work with women who have an underlying goal of weight loss. Health and weight are very often falsely tied together. You don't need to lose weight to be healthy. We've been socially conditioned to believe that thinness = health and it's simply not true. Our size doesn't determine our health. If your goal is to truly improve health, there are many areas of your life to consider outside of food and weight. Because you're so busy, make sure you get three solid meals (+snacks) in each day with all the food groups! 

Ok, so I thought I had her with me on the anti-diet train after that novel of a text, but here's what she said:
"Yes! So true! I'm tired of dieting for a couple of months and then getting back on a different diet. I want to be able to maintain my weight, know how much I need to eat and be happy with my body. Everything goes to my stomach and I hate it! My problem is what I eat and portion control and I need someone to help me with my mind. I would love to be xx pounds because when I was xx pounds, I felt great. I've been struggling with this all my life and I don't know how to fix it!" 

That last sentence really got me. STRUGGLING MY WHOLE LIFE with this.....
I struggled for so long thinking all of these same thoughts. 

If I could just find that perfect formula for how much to eat and what and when to eat (but disguise it all in the name of HEALTH) so I could be this magical NUMBER THEN, and only THEN, could I be happy with my body. 

My friend, you aren't alone. This is the story for too many women. Stuck in the endless loop of the dieting world, never finding peace with food or their body and believing that only thinness = happiness. 

If you can relate to this story or know that your underlying motivations are still guided by weight loss, I've got you. Let's first start by finding ways outside of your size to define yourself. What's really important to you? What are your values in life. What do you want your days to be spent on? Portion control or more time to explore your passions?

Maybe the real question should be how can I maintain (regardless of my weight) my sanity in a diet-obsessed culture?