You’re Not Gonna Like That

I sat in the hot sticky sun next to a mom trying to cajole her squirmy toddler into a swim lesson. Her little swimmer was having none of it despite everyone watching the lessons wanting to jump in the cool water to beat the heat. She happened to be eating a ceasar salad and her daughter asked for a bite.

“You can have a bite, but you’re not gonna like it” replied her mom. 

I overheard another parent on the pool deck telling their child that they weren’t full and should try eating a few more bites.

I hate to admit it, but I used to say all these things and more.  

Friends of mine asked me why I wrote my book this weekend, and one of the many reasons I answered was to help parents like the ones I overheard at the pool. While their comments seem innocent, they’re actually undermining their child’s ability to trust their body and make choices around how much and what kind of foods they eat. It’s so important to give kids autonomy with their body and one of the most powerful ways to do this is around food. Let kids decide what they like, let them explore and don’t decide ahead of time what your kid might or might not like. 

In order to be able to do this, you have to get over your own fears and insecurities around food and body. It sounds easy to do,  but it’s not. My friends and I laughed about growing up in the 80’s where most moms where Weight Watchers, Jane Fonda or Jenny Craig fans. Many of us have subconscious beliefs around food and body that have been ingrained since our own youth. It’s time to question those beliefs and learn a better way to have a relationship with food and body not only for yourself, but for your family. 

This is easier said then done, but here a couple quick tips for you can try this week: 

At our house we have a policy where we, “don’t yuck someone else’s yum”. If your kid wants to try ketchup with their noodles, let them. You might end up tossing a plate of noodles swimming in ketchup, but it’s part of the process. We want our kids to be adventurous and try foods when they’re ready. We also don’t force a “polite bite” if our kids aren’t ready to try a particular food either. We let our kids try foods when they’re ready. There’s nothing worse than being forced to try something that looks or smells bad to you for any particular reason. 

I give more details and strategies in my upcoming book: Raising Anti-Diet Kids: A Parent’s Actionable Guide to Ditch Diets and Cultivate Body Respect. Next week you’ll be able to pre-order the books and it will be in your hot little hands September 12th!!