The Prettiest Flower

I've always been slightly obsessed with flowers. 

For as long as I can remember, my dad could recognize a flower on any walk, hike or trip we took. I was amazed and intrigued by his ability to identify just about anything and was enthralled with every flower shape and color we came across. 

All the tables at our wedding were named after flowers. 

I love fresh flowers (PPL*) in the house thanks to Trader Joe's. 

I even took a few flower arranging classes and secretly fantasized about owning my own flower business. 

So when my mentor and teacher, Isabel Foxen Duke, mentioned a flower analogy, I leaned in. 

She said that her friend and fellow anti-diet activist, Virgie Tovar, likened (I'm paraphrasing here) various body sizes to all the different flowers in a field. There doesn't have to be only one, most beautiful flower. A field has many different types of flowers all requiring different amounts of sunlight, water and energy. JUST LIKE HUMANS who come in a different colors and sizes and have various nutrient needs. It's only our internalized sexism that has us believing that there's only one, most beautiful bud in the bunch. 

I thought this was such a great analogy that I had to share it with our kids. One morning on the way to school, someone was playing the ever dangerous compare and despair game. Perfect, here's my chance to teach them that there doesn't have to be a BEST or WORST at everything. We can all be great.

After I delivered my profound, mom-of-the-year speech, there was silence. Which was immediately followed by one child blurting out, "Yeah, but everyone pretty much agrees that there's one flower that's the most beautiful". 

We had a good laugh and then I said, "That's the whole point of my story! Society wants you to believe there's only one type of beauty out there, but everyone has beauty!"

I hope the message got through and the next time they're standing in a field of flowers, or on a walk with their Papa who will share his flower knowledge, they can appreciate the beauty in nature's diversity and recognize that their beauty is as valid as the person next to them. 

All the flowers together are what make the field beautiful.

If you need help believing that you're as beautiful as the next flower, see #1 below. 

*Pre Pandemic Life*