Top 5

Top Five

Think about five people in your life that you really admire.

Maybe it’s your mom, your best friend, a mentor, teacher, plus an artist, actor, or musician that you love. 

Got your list of five people? 

If you’ve got some paper nearby, write down five reasons why you admire each person. Five people. Five reasons, each.

Next, take a look at your list. What kinds of things did you write down? Probably things like generosity, compassion, creativity, dedication, big heart, artistry, talent, courage, so hilarious, always there for me when I need them, such an amazing writer, bold, tells the truth, beautiful singing voice, started an amazing charity, gives back to the community, doing important work in the world…and so on.

Did you write down anything to do with each person’s weight or size or body type? 

I’m guessing, probably not. 

I doubt your list includes things like…because she’s a size four or I really admire her low body fat percentage. 

It’s astounding how critical and obsessive we can be about our own bodies. And yet, when it comes to other people, size has nothing to do with how much we admire them. 

Now, make a list of things that you admire about yourself—outside of your size. If you’re struggling to think of anything, consider these questions:

What do you like most about yourself? 

What are your favorite qualities or personality traits?

What are some accomplishments you’re proud of, things that have nothing to do with your weight or physique? 

What do your friends and family love about you? (If you’re not sure, ask them.)

Look back at this list and ask yourself:

Where do I want my self-worth to come from?

It’s dangerous when your self-worth is based on something that’s outside of your control, or something that’s unrealistic, unhealthy, or simply not possible. Like, for instance, achieving an “ideal physique”—one that’s unattainable for the vast majority of people. 

If your self-worth is strongly centered around your physical appearance, this is a painful game and there’s no way to win. 

Instead, build healthy self-worth by focusing on things outside of your body and how it looks. Focus on your relationships, your passions, your vocation, your creative pursuits, your health (which actually has very little to do with your size), the way you show up for your friends and loved ones, the types of things that people will put into your obituary, or mention at your funeral. 

The beautiful qualities that you admire in others—courage, humor, creativity, strength, boldness—these can be the same things you admire in yourself, too.

Those qualities? Those are what everyone else sees when they look at you. Trade eyes with your best friend and try to see yourself like they do. 

Because that’s the real you.

xoxo, 

PS. Have you checked out the "I weigh" campaign by Jameela Jamil? 

PPS.  Because this song, always.