Why self love isn’t the answer to everything, including diets.
February is here. The month of love, dark chocolate, Valentine's and Bachelor episodes where we'll wonder who is going to accept Peter's rose.
This month is also filled with messages about the importance of loving yourself. Self-love has gone mainstream and is the answer to all of your problems, especially when it comes to your body’s size! Experts warn that if you don't have self-love, you can't get a smaller body, your mate or your dreams come true.
Some argue that the best idea would be to get the body you desire first before going for your mate or your dreams. So you might think you're loving yourself by dieting, but the truth is, you can't permanently alter your body in a way that's based on self-love. Dieting and self-love don't go together like the Bachelor and red roses.
Dieting inherently involves restricting your intake to dangerous levels, denying your hunger, exercising to extremes, ignoring your body's hunger cues and pushing yourself in ways that harm you both mentally and physically. Dieting can be traumatic.
You may be wondering about the so-called wellness programs touting self-love with their diet plans that are rampant in the diet culture soup in which we swim. Put bluntly, these programs are based on lies. There is no permanent weight loss solution that works for more than a tiny fraction of individuals and love doesn't look like harming, restricting, ignoring, punishing or forcing.
So what's a girl to do when she still wants to achieve her goals, find (or keep) her mate and have her desired body?
The answer isn't self-love, it's self-acceptance.
Accepting our bodies for what they are now is the answer. We don't have to love our bodies, but we can learn to accept and even appreciate what we have. Here are 3 easy ways to boost your self-acceptance.
- Spend 5 minutes a day writing in a gratitude journal about all the things you appreciate about your body. We often take for granted things like our lungs that breath or our heart that beats without reminders.
- Make a list of 10 things you like about yourself that have nothing to do about your body size. If you get stumped, ask friends or family to tell you one thing they like about you!
- Write down your 5 biggest accomplishments in your life. Taking a moment to appreciate what you’ve done can help improve your levels of self acceptance. If your brain starts visiting things you wish you would’ve accomplished, remind yourself that you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.
As a final reminder, you’re worthy of love and respect simply because you exist in this world. Accept your own rose this month by committing to accept yourself for who you are today. Who knows, you may just start loving yourself along the way.
