My daughter and her friend were jumping and giggling on our backyard trampoline (6 feet apart, of course) when I asked them if they wanted something to eat or drink. 

Long pause....

They both looked at each other, said nothing, and then my daughter's friend said.

"No thank you". 

"Are you sure? How about I at least bring something to drink". 

My daughter immediately jumped on the offer and her friend agreed.

This made me think about the times that I've said no to food, when I really wanted to say yes. Have you ever been offered something to eat or drink, really wanted something, but declined the offer because that's how a "healthy" woman would reply? We all have this preconceived notion of the "right" way to act around food thanks to diet culture. But there's really no "right" way to behave around food. 

Glennon Doyle writes about this idea of behaving a certain way around food in her book, Untamed, which you must add to cart immediately (when will...

“Mom, did you get the candy yet?”

“Mom, where’s the candyyyy?”

Text message the next day,
"Moooommmmm, did you get it? Candy????"

Can you tell our kids are excited about candy? I wasn’t sure what door to door trick or treating would like this year, so I promised our kids to buy all their favorite candy so they could still enjoy part of the Halloween fun. I’m glad I did as I look outside at our blanket of snow today.
I’m not ready for snow. 

Some of you may not be ready for tomorrow. You might be dreading Halloween . Too many temptations, too much food, too many worries about being “bad”.

You might be tempted to say to your kids:

“Keep that stuff away from me.”

“Tonight we’ll be bad, but tomorrow we’ll eat healthy.”

“We’re being so naughty.”

All of these thoughts come compliments of diet culture. Here's what you need to know. Eating any kind of food is never...

Imagine waking up and not having food be the first thing you think about. 

Imagine going through your day and only thinking about food when it's meal time or snack time or you're feeling hungry.

Imagine not obsessing about how much, when or what you ate during your last meal or on any given day. 

Imagine being able to go out to eat without having to scrutinize the menu before you say "yes". 

Imagine choosing to move your body because it feels good, not because it's the way to burn the most calories per hour. 

Imagine not hating your body or feeling shame about your body.

Imagine having time to spend pursuing your dreams or leaving your legacy in the world. 

Imagine having time to connect on a deeper level with your family and friends. 

Imagine having more money in your pocket because you don't need to buy exotic grocery items to fulfill your latest diet. 

Imagine becoming a more compassionate and socially informed citizen about the real measure of health...

"Mom, why is the head of the middle school sending you a zoom link?" 

"Please get off my email, and I need to talk to her about something that the school promoted that I didn't like". 

My daughter's middle school sent out an email promoting a "managing anxiety" seminar. Who couldn't use a little anxiety and stress reduction right now? I quickly checked out the presenter who advertised herself as a certified integrative health coach. 

Hmmm, sounds diet-y, but less anxiety sounds good.

To say life with six kids has been busy would be an understatement. Shockingly, I missed the zoom presentation. Anyone else sick of zoom anyways?

The school kindly sent out a few resources from the talk and I clicked on one of them which was a YouTube about mindful eating. This Youtube wasn't good. It was dieting wrapped up with a "mindful" bow. 

I'm going to get out my megaphone here. I wish I had polyester gym shorts and a whistle like my grade school PE...

"I don't want smurf milk, mom, I want leprechaun milk". 

"Leprechaun milk is gross, I only like the smurf milk".

Husband shouts, "this is so confusing! can you just get one type of milk?!" 

How did we even end up with blue and green cartons of Blue Diamond Almond Breeze milk that we affectionately refer to as smurf and leprechaun milk? Years ago, my husband realized he couldn't tolerate dairy milk. I also stopped drinking dairy a long time ago as a way to decrease our baby's colic. (Have you ever had a colicky baby? You'll do anything to try making that situation disappear.) Plus, I actually liked the taste of almond milk better than dairy milk. I was a little confused for a while though, to dairy or not to dairy....

I know we aren't the only ones who've felt confused about what to eat. When the media, the news, the so-called diet "experts", the government, celebrities and every other Youtube star has an opinion about what you should and shouldn't eat, it can be...

"Mooooooom!! She's having Oreos for breakfast!"  shouted one of my kids as she came running to find me. 

One week later. 

Mooooooom!! She's having Oreos for snack. It's not time for dessert! 

My Oreo loving daughter, looked at my plainly and said, "What? You told us we could eat whatever we wanted". 

She's not wrong. 

While I do like to follow Ellyn Satter's Division of Responsibility where parents decide what, when and where kids eat and the how much and what kids put on their plate is completely up to them, I do say that we have desserts with lunch or dinner. 

Now if desserts happen to be eaten outside of that time, I don't start yelling. Who wants to turn down freshly baked chocolate chip pumpkin muffins when they're fresh out of the oven at 11am? Or homemade apple pie from scratch that was devoured at 3:45pm. I want to teach our kids to not only allow their desires around food, but also to enjoy them. No foods are good...

I sat restlessly on the living room floor getting increasingly annoyed. Impatient and frustrated, my hands were sweating as I rolled the dice. I knew I was going to lose. My sons were about to win the game, Sum Swamp.

If you’ve ever played this board game, you know that each player has to enter an area called the endless loop. Once you’re in the loop, you have to roll the EXACT number on the dice that matches the number of squares that will land you on the exit square. If you don’t roll the magic number, you keep going around and around and around the loop.

It’s maddening.

Like many games, there's no skill involved. You just need luck.  

Playing this game made me think of all the time that I wasted on the diet/binge endless loop.

Once you enter the dieting loop, it's VERY hard to exit and you need an enormous amount of skill to continually override your body's hunger. 

Here's how your body becomes a player in the diet/binge game....

My daughter and I hovered over the counter in our pajamas concocting the perfect "monster spray". My three year old son looked on in hope and curiosity as we added peppermint essential oils to our magic spray bottle. 

I know he was thinking, are they really going to be able to get rid of the monsters in my room? 

Ever since I can remember he's needed a light on and the door open in order to fall asleep. Lately, he's been adding a fear of monsters to the mix. 

We sprayed his room high and low. Under the crib, in the closet, in the bathroom all while shouting go away monsters!
 
Gone. Done. Goodbye. 

This made me think how I wish there was a magic spray for adults. Let's be real, we could all use some magic spray to get rid of our fears, but chronic dieters need a special elixir. 

Dieters develop a perceived, though it feels very real, threat around food. Maybe you've felt this before. Fearful to eat anything that might make you "fat", bloated or clouded with...

Hey Mama, 

This week I wrote an article that is live on BYRDIE! The topic is near and dear to my heart so I can't wait for you to read about the 10 things you can do to create a diet-free culture in your home. 

While I don't believe that parents cause eating disorders, I do believe that they have a very important role in shaping their children's beliefs about their food and bodies. 

I'd be grateful if you read and shared the article!

Have a great week!
xoxo, 



PS. Love you, mom!

As I passed through the doorway, a dirt covered jeep with headlights on my left and a stack of boulders on my right, a sense of thrill overcame by body. Further ahead an elephant tusk emerged from the floor while khaki hats with drawstring ties hung from the ceiling. 

My sister, mom and I were embarking on one of my favorite annual traditions. Not a real safari, but a trip to Banana Republic in the Grand Avenue Mall  (circa 1988) which felt like a pretty close second. The decor was a strangely cool scene from the jungle and I couldn't wait to comb through the racks and stacks of cool clothes.  

Every year my sister and I would pick out school outfits at this store. Even the dressing rooms made it feel like you were going on an adventure with their banana bunches trimming the doorway and palm leaf curtains. The lights were dim and the smell was a mix of coffee beans and fresh wood. I loved lingering in the adventure. 

With new clothes in hand, I couldn't...