“Isn’t Eucerin another word for penis?” One of my kids asked after I mentioned that we had some Eucerin they could use if the Vaseline was running low. 

“Ummmm, no, no it’s not another word for penis.” I said with my best poker face. 

My other child chimed in right away with the question, “isn’t that thing boys pee in called a ‘urinator’? 

“Ummmm, no, no it’s not a urinator, it’s a uriNAL.”

This conversation means that we’ve officially hit our summer slide and forgot everything we know about sex ed and very likely every other school subject. In the past, now was about the time I would panic and order those summer “fun” books to prevent the dreaded “summer slide”. Those books were never fun for anyone, especially me, whose main job became summer unfun mom reminding threatening kids to do their work. 

Screw it. This summer we’re going full slip n...

Empty red and yellow Starburst wrappers, napkins in a wad, half eaten granola bars, several unidentifiable crumbs, goggles, wet swim diapers and sunscreen tubes littered the bottom of my summer bag. 

Before the holiday, I wanted to have a fresh start before it was inundated with parade candy wrappers, pinwheels and American flags. One of the kids had also asked me for cash, so I was also looking to scrape up enough loose change for the $2 tennis racquet “noise dampener” they wanted to buy. Apparently these are all the rage if you play tennis.

“Sorry, fellas, I only found sixty seven cents”. You guys cleaned me out of cash at the last swim meet snack bar. 

I have enough trouble keeping the top of the cash funnel full and don't need anything unnecessarily sucking the bottom of my cash funnel at rapid speed.

You know what does a great job cleaning you out of cash? Every diet and “cleanse” on the market.

The latest and...

My son looked at me with his striking hazel eyes after I offered him the option of a cookie or ice cream and he replied, “how about I have the cookie and the ice cream”. 

An hour earlier I gave the kids the option to leave the pool in ten minutes or twenty minutes and my older kids said “how about we stay here and walk home when we’re ready?”

Leave it to kids to remind you of the important life lessons that maybe there’s a third, viable option you haven’t considered. 

Like every parent out there, I’ve considered and used bribery, yelling, technology, threats and coercion, but lately I’ve been going back to good ol’ Love and Logic. One of the Love and Logic teachings is that the parent gives the child two options to choose from and the child gets to make the decision. The trick strategy is that the parent gives two options knowing that they’re ok with either option the child chooses. The child feels good...

Heart pounding with sweat dripping down my face, I grabbed for my water bottle as my legs slowed down. I love my twenty minute Peloton rides the mornings I can squeak them in before the daily chaos ensues. 

As class ends, Peloton shows you where you are on their “leaderboard”. I hate looking at this board along with the virtual high fives board (sorry, not sorry) during my class. Even though I close these boards while I ride, the leaderboard automatically pops back up at the end. It’s hard not to glance at the rankings as I close out the window on the touchscreen. I’m usually middle of the pack, but recently I noticed I was close to last. 

Hmmmm, I thought, as I wiped sweat from my body after an all out effort ride....that’s humbling. I don’t like feeling like I’m not good enough. My guess is that you, too, also don’t like this feeling yet tend to look for places where you don’t measure up. 

This got me thinking...

Will Smith recently posted a full body selfie with the caption, “I’m gonna be real wit y’all. I’m in the worst shape of my life”. Let me first say that a) his “worst shape” picture looks like he’s a regular guy and b) you can NEVER assume a person’s health based on their physical appearance. 

Will Smith’s not the only one emerging from the pandemic cocoon with a different appearance. Not only have many our bodies changed, our attitudes have, too. In particular, our anxieties are up. What about my unvaccinated kids? Are the vaccines really safe? What about summer camp? What’s school going to look like next year? Can I really hang out unmasked with friends? Weren’t we just double masking a few weeks ago?

One industry in particular is thrilled with this combination of body dissatisfaction and peaked anxiety. You guessed it…the diet industry (aka the weight cycling industry). 

Even though many...

I spent the last weekend cleaning corners, dusting woodwork, organizing a billion tiny lego pieces, clearing countertops, hiding chotzkies in drawers, using my magic eraser on walls, and taking trips to the dump. I went room by room and left no stone unturned so that our house would be ready to sell. 

Having a clean house and having your house ready to show for sale aren’t the same thing. There’s constant effort behind maintaining this showtime look with six kids. While cleaning, I discovered that the youngest now knows how to twist off conditioner bottle tops and pour the contents onto rugs thirty minutes before a showing. Needless to say, it’s constant and exhausting to maintain the “show ready” look. 

These showings didn’t showcase our real life with all its messiness and dirt and chaos. Instead, the house became a picture of near perfection. 

This got me thinking about all the media images that are thrown at us constantly with...

Every kid’s soccer game has that sideline parent. My favorite at my son’s games is a dad I like to call Mr. Wonderful. He got that name because every time the boys score a goal or have a great play on the field, he shouts, “that was wonderful, WONDERFUL!” Don’t get me wrong, I like this guy. Who doesn’t like a parent who adds positivity to the game and cheers for your kid with loud wonderfuls?

This past weekend I happened to be next to be near Mr. Wonderful. I learned that not only does he have a phrase for the great plays, he also has one for the not so great plays. 

Ball gets passed to the other team by one of our players? “Unlucky!” shouts Mr. Wonderful. 

Ball brushes one of our player’s arms and a hand ball is called? “Unlucky” cries Mr. Wonderful. 

Shot on goal and the ball goes off the post. “Unlucky” sighs Mr. Wonderful. 

At first, I thought, what a nice way to reframe a...

Awkward first conversations. Tricky seating. Sweaty bodies. Shouting kids. Sounds of clunky lunch trays and crinkly brown bags. The middle school lunch room wasn’t my favorite place. 

Covid has added even more parameters to the lunch scene for our daughter. Plastic dividers, limited kids per table (two kids who’ve been assigned to that particular table), and socially distanced lines in the cafeteria. Thankfully some of those rules have loosened and my daughter can sit (socially distanced) with friends. 

One day, three of her friends asked her what she was eating and they said, “oh, I’m not allowed to eat that”.  

The offender? 

An English muffin with butter. 

Apparently these friends have been told to eat bread dry or with peanut butter. 

I easily could've been these moms feeling like I was doing the noble and right thing for my child and their health by telling them butter was off limits. Packing a lunch with no...

I sat in the sterile office staring out the window covered in blinds that had at least a quarter inch thick of dust obstructing my lackluster view of the highway. Once I started talking and tears were flowing, I asked for a kleenex. I had forgotten that I already had the box behind me. 

The last 14 months seem to have brought up more grief than I can remember in my life. It’s been a lot to process grieving the loss of celebrating milestones with friends and family, the loss of jobs, the loss of school community and school events, the loss of holiday gatherings, the loss of loved ones old and young, the loss of social connections and the loss of travel. 

Since I can’t time travel to my pre-Covid, less grief filled life, I’ve been doing some of my own grief processing. I was reminded about the five stages of grief model introduced by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book On Death and Dying. The five stages are denial, anger, bargaining,...

Every morning during homeschool, our three year old likes to point at the cartoon face that best matches his mood. My $17 Amazon laminated poster purchase has been a fun way for us to talk about our feelings and how they change daily (or by the minute if we’re talking COVID parenting times). 

I checked the poster and “fat” wasn’t listed as a feeling...anxious, hopeful, sad, curious, even mischievous are all there, but no “fat” cartoon face. How many times have you said to yourself, “I just feel so fat today”? My guess is that during the pandemic, this “fat” feeling has come up more often and here’s why. 

Going through the pandemic has brought up a lot of intense emotions for many people. Fear, uncertainty and isolation to name a few. Instead of just sitting with and letting yourself experience these big feelings, which is uncomfortable for long periods of time, your brain tries to solve the discomfort...